Cancer – Lovers Guide for Men and Women
Cancer is an astrological Water Sign, which is associated with the constellation Cancer. Under the tropical zodiac, Cancer is occupied by the Moon from June 21 to July 22 and under the sidereal zodiac, it is currently from July 21 to August 9. The sign opposite to Cancer is Capricorn. Cancer is the fourth sign of the Zodiac and associated with family and domesticity.
Urban Myths and Legends
Cancer has a reputation for being a bit of an ‘old woman’ that attempts to mother and smother everyone around them. This also has connotations of being devouring and possessive with regard to all relationships in which the apron string is ready and waiting to tie people up to make sure they do not escape. Mother and family life figure strongly in the make up of both sexes and quite often have big families themselves. There is an issue for the male Cancerian in that he is both mother and son, and while this may have incestuous overtones it signifies a natural force of new life such as that associated with the seasons, of something growing old giving way to the young. It is also associated with cycles like the old and new moon, which is Cancers ruling planet, of phases such as the ebb and flow of the tide.
The Dark Side
Cancer like its ruling planet the moon has a dark side; they are motivated by feelings and as such, they have a reputation for playing emotional games as a deliberate ploy to disguise their motives and wishes. However, this could be more in self-defence to protect their vulnerable feeling rather than a deliberate attempt at being devious. Dark moods and long silences are also typical of Cancer who finds it incredibly difficult to forgive or let go once they have had their claws into somebody. In being too self-protective they never expose themselves to the rat race and therefore can build up a resentment of those who do and worst of all succeed. This leads to another aspect of their dark side, which is the little green monster together with a compelling desire for revenge. The best way to deal with this is to stay out the way and leave them to destroy themselves.
Cancer as Lovers
The Cancerian male or female is one of the best marriage prospects in the zodiac, they are home loving, caring considerate and demonstrative in their affections. They offer everything to those wanting the security of a family life in which children are a top priority but while not necessarily financially and emotionally secure. Cancer needs to be needed and does not give everything away or wear their heart on their sleeves for fear they might outlive their usefulness. Cancer tends to be very loyal in relationships and divorce is something they find difficult to contemplate, for this reason, they stay in relationships far longer than is good for them.
The Cancer Man
The mother figure features strongly in the Cancer man and therefore there is the danger that he moves out of the family home into a relationship whereby he swaps one mother for another or whereby they can take on the mothering role themselves. Unfortunately Cancer man makes the mistake of comparing his other half with his mother in a way that she can never compete or live up to expectations and as such the word mummy’s boy comes to mind. If he wants a successful partnership then this is something Cancer man must deal with otherwise his partner will deal with it for him. The closer the bond the stronger the rejection and cancer men who have rejected their mothers do so with real venom that is displaced onto all women who are just as unreliable as she was. Therefore under no circumstances can they be trusted, which is why many avoid marriage for fear of divorce.
The Cancer Woman
Cancer women can be split into two types within the signs mother child make up and they are of course the mother and the child although you can get both rolled into one. The Cancer female has all the mystery of a woman, moody, irrational, ruthless and quite cruel; they can also be loving and very gentle. She may be domesticated but she does have ambitions its just that she lives it through somebody else either their partner or children and in that respect do not let her down as she does not cope with your failure too well. As the child, they are the ones who need to be mothered and be the centre of attention within the family. The big problem for Cancer woman I the mid life crises once all the child rearing is over they no longer have an identity or purpose in life, some are never reconciled while others make excellent counsellors.
Cancerians need strong partners who can stand up to them from the earth and Water Signs; Unfortunately they seem to end up with the more outgoing Air and Fire signs.
The most difficult sign for an Aries, Cancer is far too silent, moody and irritable for Aries who is driven to distraction by constant moaning and winging. However, having said that Aries shows a disregard for Cancers feelings and sensitivities, which provokes the moaning in the first place. If this partnership is going to survive then look for some compatibility in their respective moon signs. While sex can start out intense and exciting, it is usually the first casualty in any argument.
This is probably the ideal relationship for Taurus; it is very safe and secure, nurturing and comforting gentle and tactile. Both these signs are home birds that need the security of a secure home life and family around them. On the negative side, Cancer might find Taurus a bit insensitive and inflexible at times, and Taurus might find Cancers moods a bit difficult. This is a very stable and mutually supportive relationship in which sex is usually very fulfilling especially at times of stress where is can increase the bond between them.
These signs are neighbours in the zodiac but as far as temperament is concerned, that is all they have in common, they work on very different level. While Cancer is deeply emotional, self-protective, using feelings and instinct, Gemini however, uses reason and rationale and has no time for emotive argument. Despite this, they are attracted to one another and it can work if both have a sense of humour so that Gemini can cope with Cancers inhibition and moods and who in turn finds communication with Gemini difficult. The Sex can be quite wonderful.
When two Cancerians get together, they usually become joined at the hip doing just about everything together. They know and understand each other perfectly which makes for a very harmonious and happy relationship until they fall out as they also know how to hurt and manipulate one another. The sex is usually very good and they spend lots of time making babies so they can both experience the joys of parenthood as soon as possible. The problem is when it ends; neither wants to leave so they remain in an unhappy relationship for years.
This can be a well balanced partnership if the Cancerian is female who would be drawn to the warm outgoing nature of the Leo man who in turn would feel needed by the female crab. Problems arise if Leo thinks they are superior and look down upon Cancer taking them for granted and treating them like a servant. In response Cancer must occasionally stand up to Leo and meet them head on instead of adopting devious tactics to achieve their objectives or to fight back. Honesty is an important issue for these two. The sex can be very good if they can achieve harmony.
Cancer and Virgo make a practical supportive partnership, although they may have to work at it and sometimes they give up and suffer in silenced rather than clear the air with their grievances. Cancer lives their life through their partner and unfortunately, Virgo may well not have the ambition or drive to live up to Cancer’s material expectations leaving Virgo feeling frustrated and useless. Cancer can help Virgo get in touch with their feelings and who in turn can be a bit more rational than emotional. This can be a long lasting but like the sex rather dull relationship.
This is often the most attractive partnership for Cancer, in which they can both achieve their material ambitions, together with a nice home and family. Like Cancer, Libra is considerate and gentle but being an Air Sign, they are not able to plumb the emotional depths that Cancer might desire. Libra tries to understand and analyse Cancers moods when they should try to relate to them, communication therefore could take place by writing notes rather than by talking. Sex is often an outlet for this frustration and can be fulfilling and marvellous.
Intense is the keyword in this partnership, and as such they can also be very emotional, meaningful, and only have time for each other. These two have much in common; they are equally passionate, security minded and materialistic. Unfortunately, both can be equally strong willed and defensive, the ensuing power struggle can raise very strong emotions making each other very angry which can be quite destructive to both parties. There is however, something wonderful about the Cancer and Virgo relationship. The sex is very important and fulfilling.
Cancer and Sagittarius must be in love with love because there is little else between them upon which to base a long lasting relationship unless they put a lot of work into it. Good Moon and Venus links in their charts are needed if they are to stand a chance of a working relationship. Cancer cannot tolerate the Sagittarians care free attitude and only feeds their feelings of insecurity. Initially Sagittarius may find Cancer fascinating but soon tires of Cancers moody and sensitive behaviour too much. Sex is a problem and often withdrawn to frustrate Sagittarius.
Cancer and Capricorn are on opposite sides if the zodiac but both have strong similarities in their personalities. Both look for stability and material security in their relationships sometimes at the expense of meeting their emotional needs. There are however, issues, Capricorn can be a little too authoritarian and critical, can come across as weak and emotional but they can form a long lasting relationship if Capricorn is in charge of the relationship and family. This can be a long lasting relationship in which there are no sexual problems.
Cancer and Aquarius really are a mismatch but are often attracted to one another with fatal results. Cancer is drawn to the amusing, unusual and lively aspect of the Aquarians personality while they in turn like Cancerâ€™s gentle sensitivity. Both signs have complex personalities but in a different way so they fail to understand each other but will try to accommodate each other as best they can. However, in the long term Aquarius cannot cope with Cancers moods and Cancer finds the Aquarian brutally insensitive to their emotional needs. Sex is obviously a problem.
Cancer and Pisces are usually a good combination; they are very caring and loving to one another, supporting each other in turn when things get difficult. Feelings run high in this relationship at the expense of practicalities, which they see as the world being against them rather than their own failures. Cancer is usually the one to sort things out while Aquarius simply goes along with what they say. However, both are creative and artistic, they have many shared interests and make a good parental combination. Sex is often excellent in this relationship.
Cancer and Sexuality
Some believe that Cancer is a reluctant lover thinking sex is for making babies; however, they are one of the most sexually active signs of the zodiac. Both Cancer males and females are motivated by their feelings which they find difficult to hide although they sometimes go out of their way to defend them. For them sex as a form of emotional satisfaction and experience comes first and physical pleasure comes second. Irrespective of the depth of the relationship Cancerians like a love nest so they can feel cosseted safe and secure even if the relationship is not going to last. It is easy for many people to fall n love with Cancer for their gentleness, and sensitivity. They are also very protective and offer comfort to those who want to be looked after by mother. However, in the long run it could be far more difficult to cope with the moods and the child like behaviour that is just under the surface of the mother figure. In that respect the continual need for affection, security and reassurance can stifle a sexual relationship. Sex for Cancer is a very strong emotional experience, once involved they can rarely let go easily they sometimes hang on when it is not wise to do so.
Ruling Planet: Moon
Birth Stones: Moonstone and Pearl
Cancer as a water sign is aligned to water crystals of intuition and experience.
Cancer is a home loving sign as the mother figure looking after the family. Moonstone as its name suggests reflects the lunar qualities of intuition, it calms Cancers strong emotions and sensitivity. Moonstone affects not just the tide but the ebb and flow of the menstrual cycle. Cancer is most sensitive at the full moon and the moonstone may need to be removed put out of the way. Pink tourmaline helps Cancer let go of the past and trust the future.
Ancient runic users did not adapt the Zodiac they used the Twelve Halls of Heaven instead. Himinbjorg, which means the ‘Cliffs of Heaven’ is equivalent to Cancer. Its runes are Dagaz, Fehu, and Uruz.
In the Tarot Aries is the King of Cups.
Type of Person
Emotional, moody, changeable, testing, home loving, kind, considerate, focussed, worrying, eccentric and sometimes crabby, no pun intended!
Type of Vocation
Doctor, priest, mystic, cook, restaurateur, astronaut, homemaker,
Astrological Relationship Compatibility
The above is only a general guide which as there are so many factors involved may not always be true, only real way of finding out about astrological compatibility is with a full report which you can obtain at a bargain price from The New Age Blog. If you have just met someone it is an ideal way of seeing whether of not there are issues you need to address before you take the relationship any further.
Trevor Mayes owner of New Age Dating Blog Directory Forum
© Trevor Mayes 2009. You may syndicate this article provided nothing is changed and you leave the author details in tact and the link live.